I'd heard that strenuous exercise can make you hurl, when you really put your back in to it, are sweating your bollocks off and going at it like a mad man (not that kind of strenuous exercise, get your mind out of the gutter). Having worked on the Biggest Loser I've even seen people do it, but I've never felt the urge myself. Until today.
If I ever mention I don't want to spend the day indoors, or the words waterfall walk and Brecon in the same sentance please rip one of my legs off and beat me to death with it, it'll be less painful.
I'm told it's roughly a two mile walk (I don't believe that) and Bear and I were out for two and half hours (I was also told it would only take us an hour and a half which is why I don't believe it was a two mile walk). It took us 40 minutes to drive there first. Two and a half panic-filled hours because I hadn't thought to bring a purse with me and discovered that Brecon National Park charges £4 to leave your car in a gravel car park off the road to nowhere. As I wasn't about to turn around and go home and the Warden's van had seen me pull up and go to the meter (in case I could pay by card) before driving off I decided I'd risk a penalty. Afterall, the warden hadn't bothered to check anybody's car.
The first ten minutes were on easy, flat surfaces and I'm ashamed to admit I got a little cocky. Okay, a lot cocky. I started thinking this didn't feel like a walk in the mountains, it was more like the mountain at home. I even phoned my mother to check how planning for her big move to Wales next week was going. Bear took the opportunity, whilst I was distracted, to jump in a big tar pit (it may have been just mud).
We wobbled our way over the Brecon's idea of mountain gravel paths - where the gravel is the size of my fist - and stumbled down to the cliffs edge of our first waterfall of four. The wolf did his level best to fall over the edge whilst I attempted to take photographs, an older couple looking on with apparent nervousness.
( Pic spam under the cut ... )We made our way back to the crossroads two minutes up the hill, stripped down another layer, and headed off on the road signposted 20 mins to next waterfall. Three minutes into the walk I realised I'd gone the wrong way, everyone else seemed to be on another route across the way to me, but as we were walking in the same direction and I knew there was a loop in the trail I figured it didn't matter. By the time we got to the turn off to the waterfall path I was busting for the loo, down two cheese sarnies (I'd gotten hungry), and hating the extend-a-lead as Bear kept choosing a different path to me through the trees. And I admit it, I was busting enough to pee in the woods not far - as it turns out - from a very busy path. Thankfully no one was strolling along (or wheezing and red faced) at that particular moment, not just because my knickers were around my ankles and my bare bum reflecting daylight like a mirror, but also because I'd tied Bear to the only bench I'd seen in almost an hour along with my bag and cardigan.
Feeling happier and no longer preoccupied with finding a toilet I decided to risk the giant, uneven stone staircase descending at an alarming angle below me to see waterfall number two.
I still can't decide if that was a good plan or not.
Getting down was okay, surprisingly more okay than I'd been expecting given my knees aren't the strongest in the world since the slopes of Concrete Peak and the Remarkables in Queenstown. I had a nice chat with several people on the way, all of us attempting to hide how grateful we were to have an excuse to stop. God bless the wolf for being the best conversation starter I've ever discovered.
( More pic spam under the cut ... )At the bottom was a minibus load of kids apparently on a school trip (on a Saturday!). The waterfall was overrun with peeps and Bear was causing a little havoc as they attempted to scramble out of his way as he slipped and tumbled over the giant jagged rocks to the water's edge. We both got a little wet as we stood by the spray and watched groups wander along the tiny ledge behind the falls. And then I couldn't delay it, we had to climb back up.
Thank the Maker for the school kids. I'm assuming girls boarding school given it was a Saturday trip. And the majority of them too girly to own hiking boots, and too unfit to cope well with climbing an almost vertical staircase made of giant, muddy, wet, jagged rocks. Bear was desperate to get past them, me - not so much. But then they made me.
The world and his wife were at the top, sprawled across the only bench (right near where I'd peed not thirty minutes before) so I decided to push on. Another phrase that if I ever mention again you have my permission to beat me bloody.
By the time we cleared the trees and got back up to the giant's gravel path I was thankful for the large tree with a low branch just right for falling on to. The urge to throw up was enormous but the need to breathe was thankfully stronger. I don't know how long I sat there recovering, I don't care. I'm just glad I made it there in the first place.
Mildly recovered and deciding that I needed to check my car,
right now for a ticket, I struggled back to my feet and wearily got Bear to drag me back to the car, thirty odd minutes away over hilly and rocky terrain. I have never been so happy to see a flat, slightly gravelly road in my life. And best yet, there was no penalty ticket on my car.
Bear slept the entire way home. I made it through Ice Road Truckers and Medium before I caved in and went for a nap. My lungs still hurt and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to walk tomorrow. I'm not entirely certain why I got back out of bed but I think a proper toilet had something to do with it. And chocolate with popping candy.
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